Tradewinds is reimbursing me for my unsatisfactory experience. I’m going to start writing strongly worded letters to everything that disappoints me now. High school career counselor from 1999, I’m coming for you.
I recently purchased a gallon of your Unsweet, slow brewed iced tea (UPC 8813044013) under the assumption that it would be just that— unsweetened. Before purchasing, I read the list of ingredients to be sure: brewed tea (filtered water, black tea leaves), citric acid, caramel color. On returning home, I promptly placed the tea in the fridge, looking forward to a cold glass several hours later. It gets unseasonably hot in southern California and as I do not own a car, I skateboard everywhere. I’m sure you can fathom the refreshment one such as myself might find in a cold glass of unsweetened iced tea after a hot day of skateboarding under the cruel sun that braises the tar-stained streets of Los Angeles. So you can imagine my shock when, after taking a sip of your Unsweet, slow brewed iced tea (UPC 8813044013), I found it to be, in fact, sweet. Not just sweet but as saccharine as a can of flat diet soda, which is to say, disgusting. I checked the ingredients again. Surely I must have made a mistake or read it wrong. But no, here I am, sweaty and parched, mouth aching for the slightly bitter relief that is plain, unsweetened iced black tea and I am left wanting by your fallacious packaging. It would seem the only use I have for your product would be to dump it down the sink drain and use the gallon container to brew my own unsweet, iced tea. Good day.
I’ve never written to a company to complain about their product before but you got to start somewhere I guess.
I was on the bus today and there was a sign that read the only animals allowed on the bus were service dogs and miniature horses and for the entire ride I just kept picturing a nightmare bus full of miniature horses biting fingers and kicking people in the shins and pooping everywhere.
“It was time when they both loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity. Life would still present them with other moral trials, of course, but that no longer mattered: they were on the other shore.”—
Love in the Time of Cholera
RIP dear Gabriel García Márquez, whose words carried colors no one else’s ever did.
I don’t trust people who are quick to give nicknames. There’s power in how you want to be identified, starting with your name, and any attempt to change that is an attempt to take this power from you, however small or seemingly inane. Nicknames are disrespectful in this regard, they replace your identity with how the other wants to perceive you and your relation to them.
Please bear with me as the delayed twitter withdrawals kick in. Over the next few days I may just make a bunch of 140 character posts. Earlier today I got a little high and fantasized about reactivating my twitter account just to tweet the following: