Oh my god I got so drunk with coworkers tonight and we all did dumb impressions of our favorite dogs and shit I am sleepy and need a nap. I love it when dogs wag their butts but I love it even more when people wag their butts to do impressions of dogs wagging their butts. I don’t know how to talk to people who aren’t around dogs all day anymore.
On when you get too excited about a joke to make...
me: So I'm unclear on the "I'm a landlord" tweet you made eariler.
are you guys renting out the house you bought?
DeepOmega: my buddy is renting half the duplex now
slash caretaking it until we move in
DeepOmega: he just moved back from NYC
needs a place to live without a lease
till he buys furniture/a car
me: so you're more like a space lord
me: god I wish landlords who only own apartments would call themselves spacelords.
me: Not sure where you're going with that.
DeepOmega: give it time
There was a bulldog today who thought my shoes were toys. She repeatedly tried to bite them and tear them apart. This is not fun or cute when you are wearing mesh running shoes. She ended up in a crate most of the time :(. (I don’t know how to correct “stop stalking and attacking my feet like some weirdo” behavior.) A doberman who looks a lot like this Google image search for...
I braided a dog’s hair today.
Every time the dude in the apartment below me comes home he says to his girlfriend: “schmoopy! Your schmoopy pants is home.” That or some iteration of it involving the word schmoopy. This used to annoy me a lot. Now I kind of find it endearing. I mean, I don’t know them. They could be awful people who put cigarettes out on babies. But who am I to get annoyed by the way couples...
When I was 13 I was really into D&D but I also felt really guilty about it because of my good Christian upbringing and had heard all of these stories about how “that’s how the devil gets in.” I mean, it makes sense. Of course the devil gets inside you when your druid rolls a miss with her +3 sickle. Anyway, of my own 13 year-old, misguided and guilt ridden volition, I...
Fuck I miss the ranch.
Emily and I went to see Bob’s Burger’s Live tonight. It was pretty great! They read about 15 minutes of the next Thanksgiving episode (it was very funny) and each cast member did a little set of their own stand-up material. I might love Eugene Mirman. It’s weird seeing Kristen Schaal in person on a stage after growing up in the same town with her and having mutual friends in high...
Hey just send me some of the shit you don’t think is good okay? Stop being a baby. Nothing anyone ever makes is ever good enough for anyone. Beside, we’re not trying to do anything important like heart surgery. Just some dumb words and some dumb drawings. All you have to do is write literally anything and all I have to do is draw literally anything. There is absolutely nothing at...
Junip - Your Life Your Call
I still don’t get what the obsession with Hyperbole and a Half is. It’s so mealy and pre-chewed. A lot like The Oatmeal. And oatmeal.
Today “aspergillum” is also the name of an asexual spore-forming structure common to all Aspergilli; around one-third of species are also known to have a sexual stage. Just your typical Friday afternoon sexy mold research.
Finally!– Albert Bierstadt exclaims in his grave as he checks his tumblr and sees that one of his minor paintings has made it to the tumblr radar.
towitistowoo asked: How do you give "time outs"? Is it immediate, so they learn from their behaviour, or is it more for the other dogs' benefit?
TEDxWilliamsburg gets together creative and inspiring individuals who are bringing ideas to life by following their passions and connecting them to the greater community. These individuals are changing the way we see the world, the way we eat, play or dance, the way we spend our free time — and most important — the way we think. Nice en dash.
Millie got all up on my cat shirt tonight. She also made the recording of this video stop by rubbing her face on the touch pad. I understand cats less and less with every passing day. Also, cool glitches. Not sure why.
My large dog group was uh-maaaaazing today. I had the bulldog that can be a handful but ever since he tried to hump my leg last week just he follows me around constantly, complacent. His face is all scabbed up from playing too rough and I’ll sit around and rub his face. I think he’s in love with me. I had a bunch of usuals in the group: a bunch of goofy labs. Some old frumpy lady dogs....
Emily is very sick right now. She waited to take a Nyquil until I got off work tonight at around 11 pm (dogs!) so we could watch Game of Thrones together (how gracious is that?). About an hour later now and I’m typing this, smoking a cigarette outside and my neighbor is watching tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones. Real loud too. She must have some kind of great audio setup....
And hey, check this out: I went into a martial trance and now all of the dishes and bins are washed and sanitized. Whaaaaat. A thing that makes me really happy at work is when I’m able to work a Dwarf Fortress reference into my shift notes email to everyone. (There were so many dirty dog bowls and plastic bins zomg.)