December 2010
November 2010
I wouldn’t ever want to survive a zombie apocalypse because I’d always be putting other people’s lives at risk trying to find more cigarettes. And I can’t shoot a gun real good either but that’s beside the point.
(whose unfortunate death by zombie probably... →
I didn’t know the Atlantic did recaps!
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vs.
Chaokoh ”Young Coconut Juice With Pulp”
Pros
$0.09 per fluid ounce
pulp
easier to put out cigarettes in a can than in a paper carton while driving, probably safer too
a little sweeter?
can is ribbed for extra grip
“Coconut Juice Young w/Pulp” is more straight forward a name (100% always sounds like a lie)
en Espanol tambien
good with 10 Cane rum
Cons
...
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Listening to one record store clerk explain to another record store clerk the correct definition of irony. He’s also defining the word incongruous to her with all the off-putting, pedantic pretension of a good English major who works at a record store. Want to vom a little but also want to find out if he has a blog about not getting laid.
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Some pretty okay cover songs. First installment.
Here.
(side B in the works right now! Might be depressing! Who knows, right?)
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I think a lot of people mean “not talking or doing so much about things that don’t interest me” when they say “integrity.”
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Perception. →
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Decisions!
EDIT: Why pick one when you can do both. Oh man! I’m gonna be so depressed soon!
“Civilization is only one power outage and 48 hours away from barbarism.”
- I can’t remember who said this first (or something like it) but it’s pretty much the only true thing I’ve ever heard.
Grinderman - “Go Tell the Woman”
...
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Dear Coke Talk: On ethical consumption. →
hypomodern:
This person understands neither ethics nor the simple economics and math involved here, and that makes me sad. That it has such a long list of “liked this” accolades is tragic, since it isn’t anything more than a cynically hyperbolic shock piece targeted at the very same people it purports to be sticking it to, viz: the guilty conscience of the modern-day hippie. The conscience that...
Wheat - “No One Ever Told Me”
Back in...
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13 million in the treasury. Remarried briefly but I couldn’t move her into the castle with my kids from the previous marriage because apparently Peter Molyneux has never heard of broken families (or the game design was already too much of a pain in the ass or something). So I offed the new wife (who was a maid)! Not because I hate women or cleaning! But because I couldn’t make her the...
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If I died tonight, and let’s say for some reason there was a book or article or something written about me posthumously (which there wouldn’t be, of course, but if!) and the last text message I sent to Emily (who is out of town) was shown in some absurdly out of context way, it would be kind of funny.
“My wife just died! The children were sent to the orphanage! I guess we can...
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Dream:
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I’m the new King of Albion. The treasury is at a deficit of 200k because I lowered taxes and built a school. I have one year to raise 6.5 mil to build an army and stave off the impending evil forces (and oh, they are evil). I’ve 4.5 mil of my own personal money and about 2 mil in real estate that I can sell. Basically, I’m just waiting until my personal treasury gets to 5 mil so...
There are so many basically inconsequential things that people don’t like and talk about not liking at great length without any sense of humor or decency (humor is generally a good replacement for decency in a pinch). It’s a drag.
Phone numbers I have recently acquired, pocket edition:
23
0000000#00#
0000898000#2308890#80*33*
08888555555
18525999555559#
5
555 555
8
#1
*
*
*0
“Sometimes I think I’ll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on...”
– Dorothy Parker (via devilduck)
See, I saw this, and I totally thought “START A FAVOURITE DOROTHY PARKER QUOTATION MEME.”
So I typed:
“The Round Table thing was greatly overrated. It was full of people looking for a free lunch and asking, ‘Did you hear the funny thing I said yesterday?’”
And...
Girl Talk - “Jump On the Stage”
The...
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Are there really people out there who don’t like the new Girl Talk? There are people saying “oh, his job is to mash up songs on an iMac? Pffft.” Fuck you. It’s fucking Girl Talk! Girl Talk is perfectly fine and anyone who thinks differently is probably a terribly self-loathing, depressed and painfully self-absorbed and also, deep in the dark hole of the same age-old,...
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Gay and lesbian issues are very important to me because when I was a kid I used to get called a fag a lot for drawing pictures all the time and not dating a lot and standing around with my hands on my hips. As a result, I feel a certain kind of solidarity with anyone who has ever been called a fag in the not funny way. I was even bullied in high school for being a fag (even though I was just...
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I almost feel bad for homophobic bros playing Fable III right now. Like, they probably had no idea how much paddycake playing and dancing with male NPCs they’d have to do to get quests.
tesslynch:
skeetonmischa:
“Midnight Train To...
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Hey did anyone else stop reading those Robert Jordan books after 1.5 million words (less than half the total for the series) and feel bad about it after he died? I think the last one I read was sometime around but not after graduating high school and I intended to keep reading them but then I got distracted by girls for a while and then Stephen King decided to finish The Dark Tower and write...
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My review of the new Call of Duty Black Ops...
Eh.
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So is 4Chan 4Wank still attacking Tumblr or something? Is it going to be like Napoleon storming into Russia where they all died of hypothermia on their way back to France 4Wankia because their buttons were made of tin and broke when it got too cold? I mean, it could be the case that I don’t really give a shit but it is kind of funny and “huh?” at the same time. That Tumblr users...
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I have fond memories of Yes. My dad had this...
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I figured out a really good use for old Tupperware containers that are missing their lids tonight. I had just finished making chicken salad (one whole chicken boiled with garlic and, chopped up with red grapes, celery, Mt. Olive Sweet Relish, mustard powder, mayo, salt, pepper, etc) and was boiling the bones and skin to make broth (bay leaves and carrot greens, you guys) when I realized I was...
Wipe Your Feet: Today I read a story about a man... →
tesslynch:
Today I read a story about a man who had some trouble at the airport. I encourage you to read the whole thing, which you can find here, and which is complete with Youtube videos he recorded on his phone while this incident unfolded. I found it pretty chilling.
If you don’t already know, many…
File under: “The world we live in” or “a similar theme of people...
Just realized I wouldn’t follow myself on...
It’s been one week, two days, and maybe like, 4 hours and 25 something minutes and I’m finally about to beat Fallout: New Vegas. I’ve invested a lot of time and energy into this and I want to savor it. I don’t want it to be a 2 in the morning nothing. So I wait. I wait to meander my way through tomorrow selling shoes to old ladies with bunions, middle-aged ladies with too...
Alright, I finished (am about to finish) the Four Loko. Here’s how I did (am about to do) it.
I left it open in the fridge after 4 or 5 sips last night. Almost enough time to go completely flat.
In a very large glass I poured about a fourth or the can over 5 ice cubes and let the ice cubes melt each for about 6 minutes each time.
With each sip I thought about how it’s not nearly as...
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White Lies - “Love Lockdown”
A friend...