March 2012
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February 2012
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me: !
Did you hear this earlier?
me: http://blog.usa.gov/post/18448608203/saturn-radio-waves-audio-description-in-this
DeepOmega: !!
GHOST PLANET
me: Sounds like a bad anime plot
like
astronauts find out that saturn's rings are actually made of the spirits of people who lived there millions of years ago
DeepOmega: just wailing ghosts
a whole stream of them
the lifestream, in ring form
me: Quick, somebody get Hideo Kojima on the phone.
DeepOmega: metal gear solid for saturn series
solid snake is an astronaut
he travels to saturn's rings and discovers...
A CONSPIRACY
me: Run by...
A team of five super soldiers with animal and or elemental themes.
DeepOmega: whose leader is...
HIS VERY OWN CLONED SON
STOLEN FROM HIM WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE
a hyperintelligent infant in a mech suit
they call him plasma snake
me: Cursed to float on a piece of detritus orbiting Saturn, forever driven mad by the screams of 10,000 dead alien spirits.
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Mom: It looks great. I still have a problem with the f-word though.
Me: Which one has the f-word?
Mom: The time cat one.
Me: Oh. "Big fucking explosions?"
Mom: Yes.
Me: I'm not catering to a bunch of nimby-pimbies that can't handle the occasional vulgarity, mom. And it's funny!
Mom: I know, but who exactly are you catering to?
Me: Whomever.
Mom: WHOEVER. Oh, go fuck yourself.
My mom is #1 primero patron of the arts and grammar.
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“This horse looks like Artax.”
– Everybody
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George Lassoes The Moon - Elbow
Am I seriously...
Since I’m turning thirty in less than a week, I feel like it’s time I finally contribute to the unsolicited advice pool that people in their thirties on tumblr tend to pee into. So here it is, my advice, for people who are younger than me, all numbered and shit:
1. In most creative endeavors, your first instinct is usually the best.
2. Don’t worry about what you look like...
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Not that anyone is waiting with bated breath at 2am on a Saturday morning, but the drawing for today, or yesterday, will be posted soon. I had to sober up after dinner to start working on it.
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aatombomb:
tmills replied to your photo: Show us your puggle face.
I think you might want to take this puggle to the vet.
I just found out baby echidnas are called puggles and I couldn’t be more elated.
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WatchI can’t stop watching this.
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Dude with a large tote sack: What's up man? You like to work alone right?
Me: Sure.
Dude with a large tote sack: Well check it out, I have a new scent by Kenneth Cole called Kenneth Cole Black. It will actually make you black from the waste down [goes to spray cologne].
Me: Oh no. No, no. I don't wear - I'm sorry, I thought you said "you like to work alone."
Dude with a large tote sack: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Me: You might want to try a different sales pitch too.
Emily: I'm going to come get the car so I can send the talking boxes.
Me: Okay, I parked it right out front.
Me: Wait, the talking boxes? What are the talking boxes?
Emily: Noooo, I said fucking boxes. For the museum? The ones that have been the bane of my existence all week.
Me: Oh, those talking boxes.
Welp! My hearing is going. Next it will be the eyes and limbs, following the fabled drop in metabolism the Over-30s are always whispering about in hushed circles.
I’m no expert on the subject but I have lived with two anorexic/bulimic girls for a total of about 3-4 years and while, yes it’s a shame that pro-ana tumbling could influence another anorexic girl to spiral out of control (or rather, the inverse - eating disorders usually have to do exactly with control, and obsessive amounts of it), Tumblr giving the pro-ana blogs the shaft is...
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lifesgrandparade replied to your chat: me: Sometimes I wish I could live out my childhood…
Here’s another terrifying scenario: “There’s a family trapped on the top floor fo that burning building! We need a hero! Wait, there’s one! He’s buying cigarettes at the bodega!
“Sorry, this cape isn’t flame retardant.”
[shrugs, lights cigarette]
End scene.
me: Sometimes I wish I could live out my childhood fashion fantasies
me: like just wear a cape every where
Rob: what's stopping you? you live in Boulder
me: true
Rob: the worst case scenario for wearing a cape everywhere is THERE IS NO WORST CASE SCENARIO
me: I guess someone could mistake me for a wizard or something
me: like, "hey, you! My sister was turned into a tarantula, I need you to cast a transformation spell to break the curse."
me: And I'd have to tell them I don't know any spells and it would be kind of awkward maybe?
me: "Well what are you wearing that cape for? Asshole."
Rob: ...
Rob: it's assumed you're NOT carrying a staff in this scenario, right?
me: Right. Need my hands free for smoking and probably a coffee or something.
“The collab is to promote their work with Converse to create and design a new...”
– Oh, okay then.
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Fantastic Animals Drawn Poorly on Cocktail Napkins...
animalsdrawnpoorly:
Tom the kappa is pretty mellow on the air organ (because if he spills any water from the bowl in his head, he’ll die).
Elsa the gulon is pretty sure if you replaced the word “her” with “him” in whatever it is you were just saying, it would sound ridiculous. She’s 100% correct.
Garret the alligator man? More like Garret the alligator salesman. It’s a pretty good deal...
I think I have a good slogan for white people.
If we can’t take your land through centuries of imperialism, we’ll appropriate your culture for our dance recitals.
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Dude: I'd like to get a few tickets to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Fields?
Me: That would be a weird show.
Dude: How do you mean?
Me: Oh nothing! How many would you like?
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me: Christ. Why did I schedule myself to work the next dubstep show.
me: Why do I hate me?
Rob: I mean, what if, like, dubstep is really great and it just takes a few listens to properly appreciate?
Rob: ...
me: Say that to my face.
Rob: I'm not even sure I could physically speak those words.
