Marginally mediocre.

Today, a girl I work with who has been at the dog hotel for a loooong time told me she thought I was...

Fri, 24 May 2013 03:05:00 -0600

Today, a girl I work with who has been at the dog hotel for a loooong time told me she thought I was one of the most experienced dog handlers she’s seen at the dog hotel in a long time. It was a very nice compliment and a boon considering I still have no idea what I’m doing. I grew up with dogs. My mom had started a dog daycare when I was 12. But all dogs are different and individual little assholes of their own accord. I still feel like such a baby working with these dogs. Anyway, it was nice to hear from another person more experienced than me that they think I’m good at what I’m doing.

I know this isn’t the official video. I also know that a...

Fri, 24 May 2013 02:19:00 -0600

I know this isn’t the official video. I also know that a lot of unnecessarily critical people aren’t happy with the new Daft Punk. But ugh. This song. Sleepy disco chill-vibes is exactly the kind of thing I want to dance to so I WILL lose myself to dance. Dance dance dance. Just did a bunch of dancing in my kitchen while thinking about dogs I love and exgirlfriends I’ve wronged.

Photo

Fri, 24 May 2013 01:21:02 -0600

GPOY my beard always smells like dog now and I need a haircut...

Fri, 24 May 2013 00:51:29 -0600

GPOY my beard always smells like dog now and I need a haircut but maybe I’ll just let it keep growing like a wild man who knows? and I’m just kinda sitting here thinking about silver labradors edition.

Really into this song lately. Especially the drum breaks. cc:...

Thu, 23 May 2013 02:56:00 -0600

Really into this song lately. Especially the drum breaks. cc: Emily I love you.

Here’s another dog. His name is Balzac but everyone calls...

Thu, 23 May 2013 01:47:00 -0600

Here’s another dog. His name is Balzac but everyone calls him Bubba. He’s a tough little fucker. Plays rough. Reminds me of Tony Soprano sometimes. The best I’ve ever seen him was when the corso cane was here a month or so ago. He loved that corso cane. She was maybe four times as big as him but the two of them could tumble with each other. That’s my dream dog group: high energy dogs that tire each other out and can speak each other’s language well enough without it escalating. Bubba’s a good looking bulldog too. Maybe one of the more handsome bulldogs I’ve met. Always has a sense of agency about himself. He knows where he’s going, and he knows what he wants to do.

(here he is running after the salukis)

emilyebba: This morning I wrote myself a note that said, “WASH YOUR SOCKS DINGBAT” because I only...

Thu, 23 May 2013 00:51:00 -0600

emilyebba:

This morning I wrote myself a note that said, “WASH YOUR SOCKS DINGBAT” because I only like to wear 2 pairs of socks with my work shoes and they were both dirty, and I got home today and saw the note and was like, “i don’t want to wash my socks!” but I saw the part where it said DINGBAT and that made all the difference and I washed my socks.

I am drunk.

I can confirm the last bit. Emily just spent the last 15 minutes pointing at the cat while laughing uncontrollably and saying “what is this thing? Why do we have this?” She has also called me on the phone four times while I’ve been writing this. She’s 10 feet away which is basically whisper distance. Drunk Emilys don’t believe in cats. Or they at least find their lives incredulous, a subject to be regarded with suspicion.

The best thing about salukis is the way their hair blows in the...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:23:00 -0600

The best thing about salukis is the way their hair blows in the wind like James Bond girls riding on a speed boat.

hookersorcake: Pimpin’ aint easy If you ever try to do...

Wed, 22 May 2013 22:01:51 -0600

hookersorcake:

Pimpin’ aint easy

If you ever try to do something creative like make music, paint, write, or whatever there may come a time where you think, “Hey maybe I got something here. I might be able to make a real go of this.” And you look around at all the people trying to make it with their art and most of em seem kinda fucking miserable about the whole deal. Do you really want to become an insane desperate asshole? For something you hopefully enjoyed doing at one point? Seems like a double bummer. Or maybe you could make a living doing your art and you could write a bunch of shitty boring articles or play six 45 minute sets at some tourist trap and turn the art you love into a cheap whore, doing pirouettes in the bathroom for five bucks a spin.

I went about ten feet down this road and I didn’t like it. I enjoy playing with words and drawings and ideas. It excites me and gives me enjoyment. When I make something I’m pleased with (and I’m easily pleased) I feel a sense of accomplishment. Of course I feel the same way about eating waffles or ice cream or ice cold beer. I’m easy like Sunday morning baby, so why turn it into a 9 to 5? I gots the happiness. Aint that the whole shooting match? Letting the creative process run wonderfully roughshod?

That’s what art is for me. Doing what turns you on and not chaining it to some kinda grindstone.

Stop trying to make your art get a shitty job

Let that crazy bitch wander worryless and free

Its easy

Easy like forever after

I always listen to this song late at night when I’m full...

Tue, 21 May 2013 03:04:00 -0600

I always listen to this song late at night when I’m full of a certain kind of despair.

Oh my god I got so drunk with coworkers tonight and we all did dumb impressions of our favorite dogs...

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:26:00 -0600

Oh my god I got so drunk with coworkers tonight and we all did dumb impressions of our favorite dogs and shit I am sleepy and need a nap. I love it when dogs wag their butts but I love it even more when people wag their butts to do impressions of dogs wagging their butts. I don’t know how to talk to people who aren’t around dogs all day anymore.

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 13:29:47 -0600

On when you get too excited about a joke to make any sense at all.

Mon, 20 May 2013 01:29:00 -0600

me: So I'm unclear on the "I'm a landlord" tweet you made eariler.
*earlier
are you guys renting out the house you bought?
DeepOmega: my buddy is renting half the duplex now
slash caretaking it until we move in
me: ah
DeepOmega: he just moved back from NYC
needs a place to live without a lease
till he buys furniture/a car
me: so you're more like a space lord
DeepOmega: SPACELORD
me: god I wish landlords who only own apartments would call themselves spacelords.
DeepOmega: DOORLORDS
me: ROOMLORDS
BOARDLORDS
DeepOmega: LORDBOARDS
me: Not sure where you're going with that.
DeepOmega: give it time

I put too much work into this GIF.

Sun, 19 May 2013 01:25:00 -0600

I put too much work into this GIF.

This is the most clever I’ve ever been on twitter. Should...

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:47:00 -0600

This is the most clever I’ve ever been on twitter. Should probably quit twitter again and go out on a high note.

Love the dog to pieces and dance around with it.

Sat, 18 May 2013 01:39:22 -0600

Love the dog to pieces and dance around with it.

Can’t wait for the new calibre of sponsored content...

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:41:07 -0600

Can’t wait for the new calibre of sponsored content featured on the radar whenever yahoo eventually buys tumblr.

sexpigeon: Morris is missing. He ran out of the house he was...

Fri, 17 May 2013 01:58:57 -0600

sexpigeon:

Morris is missing. He ran out of the house he was staying in at 17th and Bryant and is now loose in the Mission. If you see him, please, please send anything to my tumblr inbox or email me at foodsco at gmail.

San Francisco: if you see this dog, please tell Tag.

Majical Cloudz - Turns Turns Turns

Thu, 16 May 2013 01:39:20 -0600

Majical Cloudz - Turns Turns Turns

There was a bulldog today who thought my shoes were toys. She repeatedly tried to bite them and tear...

Thu, 16 May 2013 01:15:00 -0600

There was a bulldog today who thought my shoes were toys. She repeatedly tried to bite them and tear them apart. This is not fun or cute when you are wearing mesh running shoes. She ended up in a crate most of the time :(. (I don’t know how to correct “stop stalking and attacking my feet like some weirdo” behavior.)

A doberman who looks a lot like this Google image search for “chocolate doberman” kept trying to sit in my lap today. All 200 pounds of him. He also gave me a little love bite on my chin and ripped out a tuft of my beard in the process. It hurt.

Everyone was great today, with the exception of the foot-fetish bulldog (even she was okay in her own way: to be honest, if I’d had a smaller group, she wouldn’t have been an issue but I can’t run around managing dogs while a bulldog is also chomping down on my toes).

I have a headache from an old pariah dog who wouldn’t stop barking for the last two hours of the group. At one point, the doberman ran over to her and gave her some barks back. He’s young and kind of daft so I think he was just trying to say “let’s party.” But the pariah just wanted to go home. I got so frustrated with her barking that I yelled and she slipped on the floor, trying to get away from me. This immediately made me feel bad and I spent the next half hour brushing her and just generally finding a different approach in calming her down.

The pretty pitbull who never listens was really sweet with me today too. At one point, her and the doberman both tried to get on my lap and, because they’re both too proud they both just stayed there and smothered me. Like literally. I couldn’t breath. There was about 300 pounds of unbudging dog on my chest.